Yesterday, it was three years to the day that my father passed away, and also my father-in-law's birthday, and he passed away about 10 months before my own father did.
So for all intents and purposes - it was a pretty shoddy day, and I would usually have been lolling about and feeling bad about life in general.
Not so, not even today - sure I was sad, and the weather around here has been windy, cold and rainy.
What is the difference? Just the small choices that I make with respect to the food that I put in my body, and also in moving around more. I also have a stronger and more positive social network (well I really only have a couple of close friends, but lots of friendly acquaintances).
I am rewarding myself differently now too - now it isn't about oh go and get some chocolate because you did a good job, its how about I go and pick up a health magazine for some inspiration, or go to the library and load myself up with books!
I am enjoying life now, yes, I still get sad, I still get mad ... but the debilitating depressions are slowly becoming a distant memory as my body gets healthier from within, and people are starting to complement me on my shrinking waist.
I think one of the key things is that I don't hate myself anymore, so I am not trying to kill myself slowly with junk food binges.
The other thing too, is that I have a team of health professionals supporting me - it has made a world of difference. It just took a little bit of courage for me to reach out and say can you help me, please - I can't do this alone. And now, I am benefiting from admitting that I don't have to journey alone.
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