"The Lord is my refuge; I will abide in Him."
I have been reading a book by Kris Valotton and Bill Johnson, called the Supernatural Ways of Royalty. In the beginning of chapter 5, it talks about how the devil will use people in our lives to speak negative things over us ...
He talks about how women were called whores by their fathers ... and all their lives dealt with immorality ... well I felt that way ... my own father called me whore ... slut ... said I would never be able to wear a white wedding dressed ...
And at the time he said all those things ... I was still a virgin ... after he said those things to me ... I thought well if that is how you think of me ... then why not become that way ... I might as well jump right into the cesspool.
Something my mother had told me to treasure and to save for the man I loved and married, I just threw away ... and threw my own self away ... relegated myself to the garbage dump of life.
I went from being a slender, healthy and confident girl, to by the time after I had my second baby, planning to leave my kids at my brother's house, and then go and get a hire car and drive off the cliff.
I shudder when think of all those things that my father spoke over me ...
And my mother ... although I loved her ... she had spoken things over me as well ... which led me thinking that I would be scum, and never amount to anything.
I remember that when one of my mother's friends was over visiting, she asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up ... I said that I wanted to become a doctor ... and find the cure for cancer. My mother laughed ... said that I wouldn't do anything with my life ... because I was too lazy to study!!!
Over the last 18 years I have done nothing BUT study!!!
I believe that God helped turn something negative that somebody said into a positive - that really is an understatement.
Glory be to Jesus, that He has protected me from the jaws of death time and time again ... both physical and spiritual.
Over the last 18 months I have begun a healing journey, learning to renew my mind by pondering on the things of God, and abiding in Him - He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty (Psalm 91.1), and The Peace if God ... will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus - Phillipians 4:7, and But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you (Romans 8:11); and this one also -
1 Corinthians 1:27 - 29 - Instead, God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose those who are powerless to shame those who are powerful. God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important, so that no one can ever boast in the presence of God.
And so I boast only in the things of Christ - I can do nothing apart from Him, who Strengthens me from within, and Jesus came and burst out of the prison of the negativity and lies, and condemnation that Satan used all my life to chain me up and torment me. For Christ indeed came to set the captives free, and indeed I am free.
Amen
*The healing is becoming physically evident - this time last year all my blood results were very shabby - now I have no raised liver enzymes, perfect blood pressure, and have gone from 128 kilograms to 116 kilograms - this has only come about because I no longer believe that I belong in the garbage dump of life, but that I am a daughter of the Most High God, through Jesus' work on the cross.*
No comments:
Post a Comment